C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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