Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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