Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
