just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
