Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
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We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
where are you?
Hypothermia
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
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Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize