But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
