oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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