i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
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