you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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