did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
A+ Viking dick
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
