its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Randomize
