Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
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his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
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I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
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