i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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