I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
