so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
