I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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