So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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