The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
