i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
