We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
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i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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