Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
