It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
