how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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