so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
