Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
