i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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