At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
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