i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
