His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize