Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
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