I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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