Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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