I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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