some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
