so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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