I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
