dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
