I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
