Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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