HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
false alarm, still single
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
