i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
40s are totally the cure
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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