you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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