PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
