Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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