There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
