i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
