Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
