I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize