dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
