you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I want to be your penis for a week.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
