my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
