Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
