If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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