Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
