Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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