I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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