Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
