ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
