Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
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what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
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Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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