Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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