i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
