it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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