I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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