so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I need to align my fucking chakras
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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